23.11.2002 | 12:54 p.m.
reads like an e-mail.

My hands are freezing. I hate the labs at school. Either they make me want to strip or they make my hands icicles. No such thing as moderate temperature control at all, apparently.

I've been thinking really seriously about this whole semester in Dubai thing, and the more I think about it, the more certain I am that I'm going to go through with it. A lot of times I feel like I'm being spineless and running away from my unhappiness, but when I think about it....if being spineless and running away from my unhappiness is guaranteed to bring me happiness, then.....well, that's all that matters,right? I checked the AUD website, and each of their classes counts for 5 credits which means I only have to take three classes. Not only that, I will save a whole bunch of money because I obviously won't have to pay for my accomodation, food,travel etc. Plus, I can get a job as a freelance journalist or something. Let me explain something about journalism in Dubai: It sucks. Beyond belief. I remember reading this one report in The Khaleej Times about a murder. It ended with, "And then he died." I am not even kidding! And this is supposed to be the best English newspaper.

I don't know what I'm going to end up doing eventually with my life (be a deadbeat, by the looks of it) but I figure whatever it is, it's always good to have something solid on my resume. And I can definitely get that in Dubai....

God, I've been so unhappy here lately. Sometimes I feel like it is me, because,well, I can never seem to find permanent happiness. I'm weak,maladjusted.......I don't know. Not someone entirely loveable either. If the only place I fit in is with my family, I guess that's where I'm going to have to spend my time. I am the most pathetic being on earth...

OH!

Jenny and I were at Tower Records yesterday cause they were having a DVD/VHS sale, and there was this whole section that said "Erotica! From 99p only!" So naturally, we had to look. And guess what I found there?! Apart from Good Will Humping (which had me laughing so hard, my eyes were watering), they had BLUE VELVET THERE!!!! I thought it was some stupid porn version but no no no.....It was the Blue Velvet. It made me sooooo mad! It makes it sound so.....cheap and....argh! It made me SO MAD! Makes. me. so. mad. But it was, like, 1.99£ so of course, I had to buy it. I also bought Buffalo 66 even though,um,Almaz sent me a copy. But it's going to take ages to get here (he had it shipped as opposed to airmail) so I figured I'd buy it. It was 2.99£,dammit. So basically,I bought two movies for like....5£. That totally made my day.

While paying, I told the guy, "This really shouldn't be in the 'erotica' section,you know." and he said, "Yeah, I know. I told them." and made a face. It was funny. I got the feeling he didn't like working there very much.

I also hung out with Nick yesterday afternoon. Made him run twenty minutes late for class too! That was cool; he's so much fun to hang out with. We have class together next semester - a film class, how surprising! So yeah, I'm looking forward to that. The weird thing is I'm not even that attracted to him anymore. Like,physically,yeah...but then again,which girl isn't physically attracted to him? But...I don't know. We've just become really good friends this semester, and every thing else is just kinda pushed out of the scenario.

I have to rush to work now. More later.

deja vu? | jamais vu?