04.10.2002 | 9:11 p.m.
in between silent phones and noisy breaths.

I am deathly ill. My throat hurts, my head feels like a hammer hit it, my eyes are swollen and everytime I breathe, it feels like flaming knives are singeing my insides. I decided last night - after hasty bites of Chow Mein and subsequent doses of Aleve - that I wouldn't go to 'Experimental Music' this morning. The goddamn class is at 9, not to mention that Kensington is a good hour away. It would be equivalent to suicide. But I was up at 5 a.m, my throat scratchy, my chest congested.

I got out of bed to get myself some water and when I did, I felt my legs collapse with the weight of early morning delerium and a high temperature. I haven't gone back to bed since. For the most part of the day, I listened to music, using almost an entire box of tissues. I tied the used ones in a Tesco bag to make sure Monica doesn't catch whatever it is I have. Finally, I showered up and got to school by about 3. I checked my mail, made an appointment with Hugh and complained to everyone I met about how miserable I felt.

Josie and I went into town later - I was starving - and after lunch/dinner, she convinced me to go with her to HMV. The sale they're having is fucking massive and I am sad to say, I have no will power. I wanted really badly to buy Sea Change but it was 16.99£ - I just cannot afford to spend that much on one CD right now. But I did buy 'Raising Arizona' and 'Harold and Maude' on VHS. I would feel horrible except a) Together, they only cost 8£ b) I work for 4 hours tonight. In fact, I am on my 15 minute break right now.

I wish the damn phone would ring so I'd actually feel like I was working. But no. I'm just reading (and not absorbing) for my Rich World/Poor World midterm. The only time the phone rang, it was a wrong number. At least it gave me a chance to say "Richmond University. How may I help?"

Okay. I have to end this here. Time to get back to "work."

deja vu? | jamais vu?