17.08.2002 | 12:02 p.m.
watching the days go by....

I'm so lonely these days. Perhaps the last four months have been the loneliest of my life. I've made them the loneliest of my life. I avoid phone calls, I stay in the room and watch movies all day long, I make excuses when I'm invited to go out. I know it's not S.A.D because I can be the friendliest, most social person on earth if I feel like it. The trouble is I never feel like it anymore. People leave me feeling bored or annoyed or inferior. It's not like that in London at all. It never was like that in Bombay either.

How can a person change this drastically within a year? It doesn't make sense. I feel like I'm in a movie where the dates are subtitled, and the transition period is conveniently overlooked. I'm calmer than I was a few months ago though. Maybe it's submission, I really don't know.

I just want to be around people I love and relate to and who love me back. Is that asking for too much?

deja vu? | jamais vu?