2002-07-18 | 1:56 a.m.
disappearing with fear.

I don't know whether I should tell her or not. It will KILL her,I know it. I don't want to hurt her. She doesn't deserve it. I have to be selfish. Or do I? I have the letter in front of me right now. Do I hand it to her tomorrow or do I let her live in blissful ignorance?

I guess it'll give her a better understanding of why I've been behaving the way I've been behaving. I just. God. I just want someone to hold my hand right now. The thought of seeing her reaction and dealing with it makes me want to disappear. I SHOULD deal with my problems myself. Instead of burdening the whole damn world with them. Well,not exactly the whole damn world but...some of it.

That there

That's not me

I go

Where I please

I walk through walls

I float down the Liffey

I'm not here

This isn't happening

I'm not here

I'm not here

deja vu? | jamais vu?