2002-07-11 | 12:56 a.m.
needle in the hay.

He said he would never let go. But he did. He let go. He let go. He LET go. I made him let go. I love him so much and he hates me. I knew this would happen. I told him this would happen. People never listen to me. They placate me but they don't fucking LISTEN to me. I TOLD HIM SO. The one time I was right,and it had to be this.

I drove him to this. THIS is my fault. This pain,this hurt..this MISERY,it's all my fault. I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE. I WANTED this. Then why does it hurt so goddamn badly?

I'm sorry,D. I'm sorry for being such a fuck-up. I'm sorry for wasting your time and energy. I'm sorry for letting you down. You just never knew how much you meant to me and how much our friendship meant to me and how much I adulated you.

The End.

deja vu? | jamais vu?