2002-07-07 | 1:07 a.m.
it's not even late yet.

I saw a doggie on the street today that looked exactly like Mylo. I wonder if anyone reading this knows me from when I had Mylo. My poor, beautiful, sweet Mylo. This dog was about the same size and he had the same curly tail and the same frown and the same colouring. I got out of the car and whistled, but he paid no heed to me. I called out to him but no response. After a while, he trotted over out of sheer curiosity and I petted him, and he wagged his tail, and I could have sworn it was Mylo. It's been exactly 3 years since he's been missing, and I still miss him so much. I want a dog. So yeah,that made me incredibly sad.

I miss London like mad. I just want to be with people I love again. I want to be in a place where I can feel productive and self-sufficient and generally happy. It's only barely the 7th and I don't go back until the 28th of August. This is really torturous. I feel terrible when I say things like that because honestly speaking, I love Bombay and it's the only place I'll ever call home. But the stagnation and the shallowness I'm surrounded by here repels me. I need the chaos of school and travelling and homework and money problems again. Life sucks when it's so damn easy.

I've been thinking a lot about my POA once I go back because honestly, I know I need some kind of help. I've been relying on myself for way too long. I'm strange like that. On one hand, I have absolutely no self-esteem, but at the same time, my pride is terrible. Anyway, I think my solution is pretty feasible and I just hope I have the courage to go through with it. I don't trust myself in the least bit, and God knows, not many people have trust in me either. When it comes to getting help, I mean.

I'm going to watch Sweet and Lowdown tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about that. I love Woody Allen so much. I think I'll watch Woody Allen films all this week. Gives me something to look forward to,at least. Ooh,I'm excited already!

deja vu? | jamais vu?