2002-07-04 | 10:22 p.m.
eeeeyoooore

"Hello. Uh, may I speak to Aurina, please?"

"Speaking. May I know whom I'm speaking to?"

"Ya, uh, my name is Machank Patil. I'm from Mid-day Metro. This is regarding the donkeys."

Several moments of silence ensue as I desperately try to fight hysterical laughter.

"I'm sorry...umm...donkeys?"

"Your friend Kanika gave me your number and said I could contact you and ask for your opinion on the donkeys....You live in Union Park, right?

"Yeah,yeah." I bluff, wondering if that's what Kani has told this less than confident reporter. "Oh you mean the donkeys that have been loitering in the area,right? They're a total menace."

"Mmhmm, tell me more."

"Personally, I think it's a B.M.C ploy. The donkeys eat up the garbage from the dump outside my building,leaving the B.M.C lesser work."

"I see. In what other way are they problematic? Because we've had a lot of complaints..."

"Well, they hinder traffic..." I vaguely remember Vishesh narrating a story about how he got held up for 15 minutes because the donkeys outside their building lay down royally in the middle of the street, undisturbed by the car horns.

"And...can you hear them screaming at night?" They're donkeys ,not the couple upstairs, I want to tell him. Instead I say "Um, not really...they're pretty harmless,actually."

"Right....is there anyone else at home I could talk to about this?

"Nah...no one else is home." All this lying is going to send me straight to the depths of hell.

"Okay,well,thanks for your time."

"No problem...Buh-Bye."

What a fucking riot!

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