2002-06-30 | 1:45 p.m.
unspoken words.

You know what? I feel bad enough about my physical appearance without having it shoved down my throat that I'm not and never will be as beautiful as you are. Stop trying to alter my methods to cope with this because your suggestions aren't much better. At the end of the day, you're as frustrated about this whole thing as I am. I know you only want to help me, and I love you for that, and I appreciate it too. But...it's not going to help if you validate my beliefs about myself. You're my mother and I expect you to accept me the way I am, not try to change me and then accept me. I clearly remember the first time it struck me that I was fat. You told me,Mommy. And I wasn't. I was 13 and impressionable but I wasn't fat.

Maybe I'm reading all of this wrong. Maybe I'm just paranoid and ungrateful. No wonder you feel like that about me.

deja vu? | jamais vu?