2002-06-15 | 2:07 a.m.
almost silent.

There's something beautiful about listening to the wind on a rainy night while my fingers click restlessly on a computer keyboard. Words flying furiously to people I wish I could listen to, people I wish I could hold. Distance becomes a gnawing ache in my stomach and my loneliness is as amplified as ever. I wish for simple things right now. Someone to listen to music with. Someone who knows why I cover the mirror in my room. Someone who won't think bulimia affects only attention-starved cheerleaders. I thought I had that someone. Turns out I repulsed him. What a huge surprise.

I want to go back to London. It's where I belong . There's a lot I miss about it, but most of all, I miss the feeling of belonging somewhere. Even if Monica is the only person who genuinely understands and accepts me. I guess I need to know that everything and everyone around me isn't stagnant.

There's a point where the pain and hopelessness become signs of normalcy. I reached there a long time ago. Is there any way back?

Song for the Day: Running to Stand Still: U2

deja vu? | jamais vu?